Talk About It
Many people find it difficult to talk about intimate topics, even with someone they love, but sulking and ignoring your partner if they don’t get the message is foolish.
Present new ideas gradually and at the ‘appropriate’ time and reassure your partner that you do enjoy things the way they are and simply have suggestions that might make them even better. However, be direct – don’t be too subtle as you might be disappointed with the results. Statements such as “I would love it if you…” are so much more likely to get you somewhere rather than “I wonder what people think about the topic of…”
Maybe buy or rent a movie that includes some of what you would like to experience and share it with your partner. Tell them what looks interesting and ask them what they think?
The following movies all include material realting to BDSM activities and we have also added a DVD recommendations page to this site to aid your selection:
If you do not want to order your movies via the post but prefer to download something 'spicy' with endless choices then we recommend Adultmovieclub.com where you can buy and download all styles and tastes!
If you would like to introduce fetish clothing, start small and don’t over do it.
You do not have to build a rack and buy steel chains to introduce a bit of bondage. You can bind your partner with simple threads that will easily break if required. You can even introduce penalties if the thread is broken!
Blind folds are simple to remove if your partner feels uncomfortable, but add sensual risk on their part if they cannot see what you are doing.
Do not rush things. Introduce new ideas, one at a time – over a period of time, gradually increasing intensities and extremities.
If you are asked to participate in something that you think is bizarre, try not to look shocked or disgusted, as it takes a lot for a partner to raise such ideas and any negative responses could kill off opportunities to venture into different avenues.
A word of warning: although standing at the top of the stairs, dressed head to foot in leather with a gimp mask, might possibly turn your partner on - if it is the first time they are even aware of your desires you might just regret it!
It’s odd to think that having great sex is a continuous learning ground but, let’s face it, there are worse things that we have to study and learn in life!
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