Safe Words
It is important to understand your partner during the act and read their body language. Often a scene may involve the Submissive saying the word ‘no’ or ‘stop’ as part of the scene, without actually meaning what they say. This leads to the second most important factor – the utilisation of a ‘SAFE WORD’ or ‘WORDS’.
A safe word is any word, phrase, or action that the Submissive (or sometimes the Dominant) can utter or do that causes whatever is going on in the scene to stop or pause without having to give a long-winded explanation. They should be neutral expressions that are unlikely to be mentioned during the course of a scene.
 The safe words you use and what they mean are up to you to decide and define. Common safe words include the single word "safe" or "mercy" and you can also add "red" (meaning - "Stop the scene completely now!") and "yellow" (meaning - "I don’t really like or enjoy what you are doing – please change to something else unless you want me to scream ‘red’ in another minute!").
If the Submissive cannot speak during the scene, you can use an item such as a ball the Submissive can drop if there is a problem. Three sharp taps or knocks can also indicate the same.
Positive ‘safe words’ can also be adopted to indicate that the Submissive wishes to proceed or go further.
Safe words are a shorthand form of communication and it can be helpful for the Dominant to know quickly if something unanticipated has suddenly happened.
In this sense, safe words are a useful learning tool between partners, allowing them to find out what works instead of engaging in detailed discussions. As partners get used to when safe words are used, the Dominant learns which activities or intensities result in the use of the safe word and can avoid them.
Negotiations and Limits
Although it sounds somewhat formal, it is often wise when experimenting for the first time to discuss what each partner actively enjoys, will tolerate, and absolutely will not tolerate.
 It is a fact that BDSM often involves activities that are unusual in traditional ‘vanilla’ sex. Clearing some matters up in advance can mean the difference between having a great time and experiencing unnecessary problems. Prior ‘negotiation’ does not mean taking all the spontaneity out of the event. Often it means people can confidently do things they never would have tried without a prior discussion.
Limits can be anything a person wants them to be, such as no blindfolding, no tying up, or no penetration.
Pushing a limit or playing near a limit is called edge play and, with consent, could be introduced in conjunction with a safe word.
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